YOUR STORY, OUR STORY, THEIR STORY……………

Watching two love birds in the subway car this morning, a phrase I once came across came floating in my mind. It was a phrase that has since become a very important guiding principle in my life. It was a simple one which said, a man without a story is the same as a dead man. I admired their closeness and wondered about the story of their meeting. Was it one of sparks flying left, right, up and down or was it one that occurred several times before they both realized they liked each other? Could it been one that happened as a result of a reunion after a long time apart? My point is that behind the smiles, giggles and light headedness, there lay a story and from the expression on their faces, I could tell, it was a story waiting to be told.

A couple of scenarios ran through my mind and one that was prominent was that where they possibly could have met at the local supermarket. She may have been making an effort to select the best avocado for her guacamole and he may have been searching for a just ripe enough fruit to use in making his shake in the morning after his routine jog. He probably noticed her staring at the fruits and he knew that was his chance to strike a conversation.  She gave him a smile when their eyes met and the simple smile made it easy for him to start a conversation and soon they realized that time had flown by and yet it felt as though none of them wanted to say goodbye.

Could he possibly have invited her for coffee right after or would that have been too forward? Did he ask for her number or would that have sounded similar to lines used by stalkers? She probably saw herself enveloped in his strong embrace whilst he must have seen her lying fragile against his frame in the weeks to come. The smile he saw was one he had imagined seeing at his front porch many years to come and the glow in his eyes is one she had seen in many of her day dreams. He had no bouquet in his hands, or a chilled bottle of wine on the table, but still, she felt as though she knew him. Two souls smiled deep into one another’s hearts and not one of the curious on-lookers mattered. Yes, the story may sound like a typical Hollywood cliché, and would probably play in the head of a hopeless romantic in the likes of me!

The point is that I do not know the real story behind such chemistry nevertheless and I couldn’t help but wonder; isn’t that what we all long for? Men and women in the modern times have turned to dating services hoping for someone to do the job of matching their souls to someone who hopefully will be the one. Some go the distance and hope to meet a lonely soul on the same journey as they are and even though they may succeed even if for a while, they would certainly do it all over again?  Some may loose hope of meeting their soul mates and wonder ,what if like the old days when people met at local parties or village dance their  soul mate is right next to them in aisle at the supermarket, on the next subway car or just arrived a sec too late to catch the bus that they are on? The sentences of “what ifs” crowd their minds as they hope for their story to be told, and for those who do not despair or settle, indeed a great story is often told- their story!

For those souls out there searching for and still believe in love, open your hearts for your avocado story may just be lying in wait. Take time to smile back when handsome/beautiful stranger smiles at you at the supermarket for it may be just the beginning of something beautiful. Indeed, it may take effort to keep the flame alive, but isn’t it nice to know that you are not alone. Yes, your story, our story and their story is yet to be told!

WHEN IS THE BATTLE TRULY WON?

Finally after months of procrastination, I took seat and watched the movie “Brave heart” and while many of those who read my article today may find this a regular event, in my case it’s special. The young Wallace had to learn how to us his brain in order to win the big battles that lay ahead of him. He was a man of no noble blood but this didn’t stop him. He ran away from his calling until the day his beloved was slaughtered by the ruthless English Lord and was forced to face the battle with the English king. Watching Wallace’s dad and uncle advice the young child that in order for him to master his weapon; he must master his brain/wit, I couldn’t help but relate to this priceless piece of advice. Well, I am not trying to narrate the movie to you rather I would love to share a thought on the battles that we face in our daily lives. The ones that even though no blood is shed, a lot is at stake and we couldn’t possibly afford to lose them.

 We struggle to keep our children on the right path, choose the right career paths or fight to keep the one we have at hand. At times, the struggle is in a bid to find the right partner for us or better keep the ones that we have. The struggle to keep the love and trust alive while adhering to the vows we once made. To some the struggle may be to make ends meet or worse to keep a smile on their faces as they battle terminal illness. In certain cases the battle seems lost even before it begins and we may feel that even though we have the right weapons which could be in the form of wealth, drugs and good education, all is hopeless and meaningless. My questions tonight are how to we emerge victorious in our daily struggles? How do we bravely say, I fought the battle and won? At what point is the battle truly won?

 I have come to know that no successful endeavor comes without a well laid plain or strategy. Even though we may not declare it in black and white, the strategy starts with a simply thought. An idea that keeps floating into our head and eventually being manifested in the form of a venture. It may start by simply spotting the gorgeous woman across the room and trying to find the right words to say to her in a bid to start a conversation. It may be a favorite treat for our young ones in a bid to have them open up to talk to us. To some it may be to bring our bosses coffee every morning in a bid to remind them of our presence or perhaps work well beyond regular hours to show our dedication. To some it may be the willful determination to bravely bare the pain of the terminal illness that has crippled their bodies and struggle to keep a smile even though their bodies are exploding from within-A smile to keep their loved ones from worry or constantly pitying them.

 It may not be easy to keep the mind in the right direction, with the right belief, faith, willful determination or alertness; nevertheless, I strongly believe that the battle is usually won even before it starts. The victory starts with a thought which manifests itself into attitude and eventually actions.  Even though the actions may seem trivial they may as well help us bring our “Goliaths” to the ground. What I write today may not sit well with many but it’s simply a thought I have running through my mind. Indeed, we all have our battles and tonight, I hope we do have the wisdom to determine the true victory. A question therefore stands, when are your battles won?  :)

PS: Even though I do not like to use the word battle, I couldn’t find a better word tonight

WHILST OUR EXCUSES MAYBE VALID…….

For those who know me, would definitely say, I am not one who sits to watch a war movie till the end. Violence and pain are not source of adrenaline or entertainment for me; nevertheless, having watched the movie BATTLE LOS ANGELES till the end, I couldn’t help but admire the courage and dedication displayed in the characters of the movie. The battle may not have been real and there may have many video effects, stunts etc but the moral of the story was subtle. I was touched by the act at the end of the film when the soldiers, despite having been out at battle with high technologically advanced aliens, declined to have breakfast and took up new arms to continue their duty- right back into the heart of fire. Many would argue that the ration of the lives of the soldiers that were lost in battle was greater than the civilians rescued. While they may have a point in their argument, isn’t life just the same way?

Let’s start by saying, that had it been me, I would have taken the time to find a spot not reached by the aliens and take the longest sleep or brunch ever after such a grueling battle. I would find excuses to justify my stand and try to say, “at least I contributed- saved some lives”, “let the others take over”. Well, that’s just how human nature works. We search for excuses on why our lives aren’t going the way we want it to go and how someone else is to blame and look for the nearest spa to take time and rest from the chaos. While I agree that times come when we feel exhausted and spa maybe a good idea, what happens to the promises and vows we made? To some the vows may have been made to business partners, spouses or family or even friends. When the going gets tough and excuses could be acceptable, what do we do?

Do we fore go the breakfast offered and stick by those we love and care for or do we bail?  Whilst our loved ones could forgive us for the vows we can’t keep during rough patches of our lives, do we take advantage of the opportunity or do we stick by them through thick and thin? When your marriage may not be as rosy as was promised or your income flow is shaken or disease steals its way into our lives, do we say, “honey, blame my erratic behavior or drunkenness on the situation?” While our excuses maybe valid, why don’t we love as though the next breath would be our last and live as though tomorrow may never come. I know what I would do now that I am a little wiser- what about you !

WHEN SORRY IS NOT ENOUGH…………….

It’s without a doubt that most of us have often found ourselves on the other end of the table across a party we have wronged or hurt by our action, words or lack of action. For those who are lucky to have never been on the ‘accused’ side of the table, what I write tonight may not make much sense to you. The other day, I was in a situation where I gravely wronged a dear friend of mine with my defiance or rather stubborn actions and it cost me their friendship. It’s unfortunate that it was the result of the unfortunate happening but I fully accept the consequences of my actions. I am not making a public apology rather I would love to talk about those times when words of apology aren’t enough. When we say sorry or even use simple and complex sentences to apologize to those we have wronged only to be turned away.

What happens when the hearts of the ‘plaintiffs’ are hardened and we have no access to their ears let alone their hearts. The times when we may want to prove that we are worth a second chance but are denied the audience to prove so. We may try words of poetry, songs, or even serenades for those of us who are musicians but what happens when their hurt doesn’t thaw? How do we get across to those we love or care about when they just can’t trust a single word we say?

Do we move and coil our tails between our hind legs as wounded dogs do or do we hope that someday we will be forgiven? Do we tell ourselves, alas, “at least I tried”? Time may move slowly as the feeling of remorse grips our senses while the reality of loosing those close to our hearts dawns our minds. Likewise, the shadows on the walls and the ground may be all we have left whilst the silence of the hollowness left behind deafens us, yet still no reply to our emails, text or missed phone calls.

My topic tonight is to appeal to those hearts that hurt to consider genuine apologies and not let their ego cost them relationships they once valued. Humanity is flawed and often we loose track of what is right or wrong and can only hope that our mistakes are not too grave to cost us a second chance in the lives of those we love. So for those remorseful hearts that read my blog tonight, swallow your pride and use the simplest words and actions to express your desire to be given a second chance. As for those hearts that are hurt, when the pain thaws, give a listening ear and be merciful to grant a second chance. We are all prone to mistakes and even though at times ‘sorry seems to be the hardest thing’ or ‘doesn’t seem enough’; it maybe the simplest way to express the heaviness of our remorseful hearts!

They live somewhere special- in my heart…..

The other day I thought of my family and a bout of nostalgia took over me which nearly made my heart go limp. I thought of the times we shared together living as a family, the struggles and wins, the differences and compromises and most important the laughter’s and games we played together. Ohh, and not to forget the Saturday mornings when we would all wear our very best and head out to Sabbath mornings. Yes, time is but fleeting and we have found ourselves in different parts of the globe and the once large happy family is in bits but expanding.

As you read this, it may be hard to relate to my experience but for those who are from closely knit families, whether small or large you will share in my opinion. While I lived closer to them (geographically), I may not have fully appreciated that fact but now that I am miles and miles away, I miss them each and every day. I may not be a public person but I stay on Facebook just to read their hilarious updates, catch a glimpse of their photos and keep tabs with their daily lives-Thank you Facebook team! Life desires and aspirations may have led me to where I am now but no single day passes without thinking of the wonderful Mboya family. They may not be my neighbors next door but they are closer than that. They live somewhere special- in my heart. With every heart beat, I see my beloved mother laugh and my father crack a joke. In my smile, I keep the joy and warmth my siblings and parents showered me with while I was closer to them. And every night as I lay me down, I hug my pillow tight and say a little prayer for them

Ohh, yes, they have a special place in my heart and I love them dearly ….. Every day, if not every moment, it’s a family day in my heart; for that’s where they live!