A couple of scenarios ran through my mind and one that was prominent was that where they possibly could have met at the local supermarket. She may have been making an effort to select the best avocado for her guacamole and he may have been searching for a just ripe enough fruit to use in making his shake in the morning after his routine jog. He probably noticed her staring at the fruits and he knew that was his chance to strike a conversation.  She gave him a smile when their eyes met and the simple smile made it easy for him to start a conversation and soon they realized that time had flown by and yet it felt as though none of them wanted to say goodbye.

Could he possibly have invited her for coffee right after or would that have been too forward? Did he ask for her number or would that have sounded similar to lines used by stalkers? She probably saw herself enveloped in his strong embrace whilst he must have seen her lying fragile against his frame in the weeks to come. The smile he saw was one he had imagined seeing at his front porch many years to come and the glow in his eyes is one she had seen in many of her day dreams. He had no bouquet in his hands, or a chilled bottle of wine on the table, but still, she felt as though she knew him. Two souls smiled deep into one another’s hearts and not one of the curious on-lookers mattered. Yes, the story may sound like a typical Hollywood cliché, and would probably play in the head of a hopeless romantic in the likes of me!

The point is that I do not know the real story behind such chemistry nevertheless and I couldn’t help but wonder; isn’t that what we all long for? Men and women in the modern times have turned to dating services hoping for someone to do the job of matching their souls to someone who hopefully will be the one. Some go the distance and hope to meet a lonely soul on the same journey as they are and even though they may succeed even if for a while, they would certainly do it all over again?  Some may loose hope of meeting their soul mates and wonder ,what if like the old days when people met at local parties or village dance their  soul mate is right next to them in aisle at the supermarket, on the next subway car or just arrived a sec too late to catch the bus that they are on? The sentences of “what ifs” crowd their minds as they hope for their story to be told, and for those who do not despair or settle, indeed a great story is often told- their story!

For those souls out there searching for and still believe in love, open your hearts for your avocado story may just be lying in wait. Take time to smile back when handsome/beautiful stranger smiles at you at the supermarket for it may be just the beginning of something beautiful. Indeed, it may take effort to keep the flame alive, but isn’t it nice to know that you are not alone. Yes, your story, our story and their story is yet to be told!

 We struggle to keep our children on the right path, choose the right career paths or fight to keep the one we have at hand. At times, the struggle is in a bid to find the right partner for us or better keep the ones that we have. The struggle to keep the love and trust alive while adhering to the vows we once made. To some the struggle may be to make ends meet or worse to keep a smile on their faces as they battle terminal illness. In certain cases the battle seems lost even before it begins and we may feel that even though we have the right weapons which could be in the form of wealth, drugs and good education, all is hopeless and meaningless. My questions tonight are how to we emerge victorious in our daily struggles? How do we bravely say, I fought the battle and won? At what point is the battle truly won?

 I have come to know that no successful endeavor comes without a well laid plain or strategy. Even though we may not declare it in black and white, the strategy starts with a simply thought. An idea that keeps floating into our head and eventually being manifested in the form of a venture. It may start by simply spotting the gorgeous woman across the room and trying to find the right words to say to her in a bid to start a conversation. It may be a favorite treat for our young ones in a bid to have them open up to talk to us. To some it may be to bring our bosses coffee every morning in a bid to remind them of our presence or perhaps work well beyond regular hours to show our dedication. To some it may be the willful determination to bravely bare the pain of the terminal illness that has crippled their bodies and struggle to keep a smile even though their bodies are exploding from within-A smile to keep their loved ones from worry or constantly pitying them.

 It may not be easy to keep the mind in the right direction, with the right belief, faith, willful determination or alertness; nevertheless, I strongly believe that the battle is usually won even before it starts. The victory starts with a thought which manifests itself into attitude and eventually actions.  Even though the actions may seem trivial they may as well help us bring our “Goliaths” to the ground. What I write today may not sit well with many but it’s simply a thought I have running through my mind. Indeed, we all have our battles and tonight, I hope we do have the wisdom to determine the true victory. A question therefore stands, when are your battles won?  :)

PS: Even though I do not like to use the word battle, I couldn’t find a better word tonight

Let’s start by saying, that had it been me, I would have taken the time to find a spot not reached by the aliens and take the longest sleep or brunch ever after such a grueling battle. I would find excuses to justify my stand and try to say, “at least I contributed- saved some lives”, “let the others take over”. Well, that’s just how human nature works. We search for excuses on why our lives aren’t going the way we want it to go and how someone else is to blame and look for the nearest spa to take time and rest from the chaos. While I agree that times come when we feel exhausted and spa maybe a good idea, what happens to the promises and vows we made? To some the vows may have been made to business partners, spouses or family or even friends. When the going gets tough and excuses could be acceptable, what do we do?

Do we fore go the breakfast offered and stick by those we love and care for or do we bail?  Whilst our loved ones could forgive us for the vows we can’t keep during rough patches of our lives, do we take advantage of the opportunity or do we stick by them through thick and thin? When your marriage may not be as rosy as was promised or your income flow is shaken or disease steals its way into our lives, do we say, “honey, blame my erratic behavior or drunkenness on the situation?” While our excuses maybe valid, why don’t we love as though the next breath would be our last and live as though tomorrow may never come. I know what I would do now that I am a little wiser- what about you !

What happens when the hearts of the ‘plaintiffs’ are hardened and we have no access to their ears let alone their hearts. The times when we may want to prove that we are worth a second chance but are denied the audience to prove so. We may try words of poetry, songs, or even serenades for those of us who are musicians but what happens when their hurt doesn’t thaw? How do we get across to those we love or care about when they just can’t trust a single word we say?

Do we move and coil our tails between our hind legs as wounded dogs do or do we hope that someday we will be forgiven? Do we tell ourselves, alas, “at least I tried”? Time may move slowly as the feeling of remorse grips our senses while the reality of loosing those close to our hearts dawns our minds. Likewise, the shadows on the walls and the ground may be all we have left whilst the silence of the hollowness left behind deafens us, yet still no reply to our emails, text or missed phone calls.

My topic tonight is to appeal to those hearts that hurt to consider genuine apologies and not let their ego cost them relationships they once valued. Humanity is flawed and often we loose track of what is right or wrong and can only hope that our mistakes are not too grave to cost us a second chance in the lives of those we love. So for those remorseful hearts that read my blog tonight, swallow your pride and use the simplest words and actions to express your desire to be given a second chance. As for those hearts that are hurt, when the pain thaws, give a listening ear and be merciful to grant a second chance. We are all prone to mistakes and even though at times ‘sorry seems to be the hardest thing’ or ‘doesn’t seem enough’; it maybe the simplest way to express the heaviness of our remorseful hearts!

As you read this, it may be hard to relate to my experience but for those who are from closely knit families, whether small or large you will share in my opinion. While I lived closer to them (geographically), I may not have fully appreciated that fact but now that I am miles and miles away, I miss them each and every day. I may not be a public person but I stay on Facebook just to read their hilarious updates, catch a glimpse of their photos and keep tabs with their daily lives-Thank you Facebook team! Life desires and aspirations may have led me to where I am now but no single day passes without thinking of the wonderful Mboya family. They may not be my neighbors next door but they are closer than that. They live somewhere special- in my heart. With every heart beat, I see my beloved mother laugh and my father crack a joke. In my smile, I keep the joy and warmth my siblings and parents showered me with while I was closer to them. And every night as I lay me down, I hug my pillow tight and say a little prayer for them

Ohh, yes, they have a special place in my heart and I love them dearly ….. Every day, if not every moment, it’s a family day in my heart; for that’s where they live!

Often we find our friends, family, neighbors or even colleagues in trouble and it is only natural to join the festivity of sorrow, empathize, cry with them and assure how right they are to be in such a lousy mood. Even though we may think we are helping them, wouldn’t it be much better if we spoke to them and told them of better place we desired to see them at? What do we stand to gain when we fall into the abyss of negativity with them? Wouldn’t it be much wiser to stand in the light and spread our open arms to entice them to join us there? When those dear to us are hurting or their hearts are broken, why don’t we take the time to take them away from the pain by shedding a ray of hope through our actions and thoughts? When the lady in my story came to me broken, I saw an image of her in my mind and heart, one that was much more desirable than the one she actually was in. so even though my stand was not clear to her at the beginning, she was later grateful for it showed her the strengths that dwelled within her. She felt no need to mourn or whine instead took advantage of the situation to come out stronger than ever. I couldn’t be happier to be present to witness her smile after such as tumultuous period in her life.

Our intentions may be good but for those who have the shoulders for others to lean on, beware not to let the weight of their burden bring you down. Be alert and influence them to share in the joy that dwells within you. When a beloved approaches you and wants to talk of their ill health, change the subject and speak of good health or better indulge in activities that will make them feel vibrant for it is not wise to stay focused on what many refer to as reality (which such a situation is intense negativity).  

When we love, we desire to see those that are subject to our love, happy and we desire that every experience we share with them be joyous. Whilst our beloved hurt, why not be the instrument to lead and entice them to discover the joy that dwells in them? Whilst today it may be them hurting,  tomorrow, it maybe us who need their shoulder to lean on. So let’s bless each other with our thoughts and share the most beautiful feeling, one without cause, an astrolabe of God’s secret-Love!

I am no fan of Kim but her fame is a proof that we are what we think of ourselves. All that we are indeed starts with a simple thought, which may appear foolish and we may be shy to let be known. And having read about the law of attraction, I believe I wouldn’t be way off to say that she may have applied it to her life knowingly or unknowingly. We are often disgruntled by many occurrences in our lives and our thoughts tend to dwell on the negative aspects of our lives. We spend so much energy thinking over how many wrong things surround us. Right from governments to households, we organize both huge and small protests. Little do we realize that while we are spending so much time having summits on anti-terrorism, we could have better spent the time talking about peace! Attracting peace into our daily lives, taking time educating our teenagers on safe sex and sitting to talk of better wages yet to come are better ways to go instead of hold anti-teen pregnancy meetings, laborers’ union rallies and invading sovereign territories to smoke out the bad guys.

In my daily undertakings, I see this in practice and even though I have often ignored it, I realize that the more I fight an idea, the more it reoccurs. Marriages fall apart when couples constantly threaten each other with divorce and lovers are abandoned when they dwell on their insecurities.  How often do we let the negative energies control our existence instead of concentrating on what we desire to see happen. We want to have successful marriages; why don’t we bless our partners with kind thoughts. We are displeased with our partners, why don’t we talk it out and let them know what we want instead of constantly pointing out on their wrong doings. We need our son or daughter to excel in school why don’t we enlighten them on their strengths and reward them in our thoughts and actions?  I am not saying we close our eyes to the vices that may arise but by thinking of the virtues, we overcome the possibilities of the vice-versa occurring.

Mother Teresa once said that she would rather attend a peace rally than an anti-war summit. In her humble life, she showed the world that an enlightened human being had immeasurable capabilities. And to return to Kim and other Hollywood stars who many may think are famous due to good marketing and publicity. In my opinion, they are where they are because they simply believed and visualized where they wanted to be. The example may not be one to emulate but we all have free will and it’s upon us to make choices. Even though controlling and monitoring our thoughts isn’t one of the easiest things to do; we can convince ourselves that only good things will come to us. When negative thoughts bring us down, we must arise and remind ourselves of the things we want to see in our lives. Not those we don’t want to see.

Whilst I am yet to discover more on this theme, I believe it is safe to say that it starts with a simple thought which ultimately makes us all that we are. Let’s make it a positive one and we will live a life much desired by others

Often we believe we are the “normal “parties in our dealings with other people in our relationships; with our spouses, colleagues and friends. The other people always seem to have something amiss in their personality or character. We take the judgment seat and pass our cruel and unfounded sentences; sometimes loud enough for others to hear and sometimes internally. The lady I described at the beginning is a victim of such a circumstance. I may not be able to reveal the details of our conversations but one thing was clear that she had somehow been influenced to believe that all the adjectives added to her name were indeed who she was.

In my opinion, this is not quite the case. Her personality greatly changed when her trust had been betrayed by someone she had known and loved for most of her life. When this happened, she never got the chance that everybody deserves; a chance to understand what went wrong. The final words between her and her beloved were silence. She had so many things to say but never had the chance to say it. The pain had been blinding and despite having been known as a talkative character, for the first time in her life she fell silent. The poor lady had no idea whether to loss her cool or play the “calm” cards. And till date, she never found her voice, and never had the chance to say those final words.

Sometimes in life when friendships, relationships, marriages and other forms of partnerships break, many of us are faced with the same dilemma. This could happen in the time of separation, divorce or even at the time of death of a loved one. What words do we say when the time for goodbye comes?  When the emotions are running high and our judgment is compromised, do we say all we have to say or do we fall silent? How do you gain the wisdom to choose what is appropriate? When words of love may not come easy and hurtful words could only aggravate the situation. A wise friend of mine once said, “find an outlet” for all that is inside you to escape through. But this option is for the enlightened or perhaps those of stronger will power. What of those who are weak and lack discernment during such instances? What do they say? How do they phrase their final words? These moments come so sudden and even though we may see the signs, we choose to believe that it will be better, but my question is how do we get the closure?

I may have no right answer at this point in my life but one thing for sure that whatever we choose, whether to be silent or say all we can, whether to sigh or cry, we should not let is destroy what we have firmly believed in or let it destroy us. Goodbyes will come but why don’t we embrace it as an opportunity for a new phase in our lives or perhaps a moment of change- hopefully for the better! At the point where the story ends, it may never be the same but definitely could be better

Recently, I had a talk with a dear friend of mine and she disclosed to me her fear of losing her beloved to another woman. It suddenly struck me that humanity is plagued with fear and even though they may evolve on the surface value and take different forms, the bottom question remains fairly the same; “what if I am not good enough?” My conclusion may be unfounded and incomplete but isn’t the reason all because our mind keeps searching for answers to the unknown. What lies beyond? What comes tomorrow? We forget what we have today. We fear the loss of our parents but we don’t take the time to call them today while we still have them around. We fear the failure in exams whereas we don’t take time to study. Our mind thinks of the pain that is yet to come when we lose our beloved, whereas we don’t take the time to appreciate those close to our hearts today. The fears keep evolving right from the loss of a toy to that of a job.

At the end of the day, we cannot control what tomorrow brings and even though much of it may be unpredictable, why worry about it? Why fear snakes when you don’t plan to get close enough to be bitten? Why fear heights when you don’t intend to jump? Why darkness when you don’t intend to leave your eyes open as you sleep? Why fear love, when you don’t know what it is? My questions may not make sense to many of my readers and perhaps it’s my mind going on an over-drive (not nuts!!! J) but it’s just a thought on this beautiful afternoon in October. This is what I have today and outside my window are beautiful autumn leaves, what a sight! Feels like heaven! Gratitude and joy at the sight that lies before my eyes. What more could I ask for? Let tomorrow worry of the falling of the golden leaves. Indeed the days, weeks, months, seasons and years will go by fast but as for now, I enjoy the beauty and my heart swells in joy not fear!

Isn’t life similar to this board game? The decisions we make represent the dice roll since we never know which choice would lead us to a moment of glory and which one would lead us to the bottom of the abyss. I have often found myself in such situations whereby I hope that the choice I make will lead me towards the mark, 100 only to be disappointed and be swallowed by a serpent. Many of those struggling with addictions, bad relationships and habits that they desperately want to rid often get disappointed when they roll their dice of life only to be dragged back to the position where they came from or find themselves in far worse positions than they were originally. The game continues and very few make it to “100”but we should never lose hope of always trying to reach what goal we aim at. On a good day we may land at the bottom of the ladder which will take us to a better place whereas on a bad day we are swallowed by a serpent back to the beginning.

Some seek the help of lady luck, whilst some hope for karma leaving some of us hoping for a miracle from the supernatural being. But still we rise up and keep on trying. We dust ourselves and try again, roll the dice and hope the square we land in is a good one. My comparison may be way off but at least it’s my opinion on this day. Tomorrow I may change my thinking but tonight, I would advise you to take courage and roll the dice, the goal is 100! And you always have a right to be wrong, but learn the trick and play to win