Whilst our beloved hurt…………

Over a fortnight ago, I had a heart to heart talk with someone close to me-a person whom I value very much in my life. It has been great joy having her in my life experience and being the joyful person that she always is, it tore me apart to see her hurt and have self doubt. My desire is always to see her in high spirits for it blesses and uplifts those around her, especially her children. Someone dear to her was hurting her and while the rest of her friends took the stand and criticized the assailant while sympathizing with her, I did the opposite. Well, it may sound conflicting to the point which I stated above, that she is very dear to me, nevertheless, it’s not.

Often we find our friends, family, neighbors or even colleagues in trouble and it is only natural to join the festivity of sorrow, empathize, cry with them and assure how right they are to be in such a lousy mood. Even though we may think we are helping them, wouldn’t it be much better if we spoke to them and told them of better place we desired to see them at? What do we stand to gain when we fall into the abyss of negativity with them? Wouldn’t it be much wiser to stand in the light and spread our open arms to entice them to join us there? When those dear to us are hurting or their hearts are broken, why don’t we take the time to take them away from the pain by shedding a ray of hope through our actions and thoughts? When the lady in my story came to me broken, I saw an image of her in my mind and heart, one that was much more desirable than the one she actually was in. so even though my stand was not clear to her at the beginning, she was later grateful for it showed her the strengths that dwelled within her. She felt no need to mourn or whine instead took advantage of the situation to come out stronger than ever. I couldn’t be happier to be present to witness her smile after such as tumultuous period in her life.

Our intentions may be good but for those who have the shoulders for others to lean on, beware not to let the weight of their burden bring you down. Be alert and influence them to share in the joy that dwells within you. When a beloved approaches you and wants to talk of their ill health, change the subject and speak of good health or better indulge in activities that will make them feel vibrant for it is not wise to stay focused on what many refer to as reality (which such a situation is intense negativity).  

When we love, we desire to see those that are subject to our love, happy and we desire that every experience we share with them be joyous. Whilst our beloved hurt, why not be the instrument to lead and entice them to discover the joy that dwells in them? Whilst today it may be them hurting,  tomorrow, it maybe us who need their shoulder to lean on. So let’s bless each other with our thoughts and share the most beautiful feeling, one without cause, an astrolabe of God’s secret-Love!

ALL THAT WE ARE…….

The images of Kim Kardashian flash on almost every website I log on to inclusive of those that have no direct relation to Hollywood. The lady has embraced fame and even though she may not change the world, for a while she will live the life that she has dreamt or rather visualized for herself. I thought about how she became famous and what must have gone through her mind before those moments came to be. It may not matter how she got there or what she had to do to reach where she was. The point I am trying to bring home is that it all started with a thought. Some may have seen her dream and those of her sisters to be insane and may have discouraged her to say she had no talent of voice or acting (so far) but she defied the odds to find her niche (with the help her of her publicists of course).

I am no fan of Kim but her fame is a proof that we are what we think of ourselves. All that we are indeed starts with a simple thought, which may appear foolish and we may be shy to let be known. And having read about the law of attraction, I believe I wouldn’t be way off to say that she may have applied it to her life knowingly or unknowingly. We are often disgruntled by many occurrences in our lives and our thoughts tend to dwell on the negative aspects of our lives. We spend so much energy thinking over how many wrong things surround us. Right from governments to households, we organize both huge and small protests. Little do we realize that while we are spending so much time having summits on anti-terrorism, we could have better spent the time talking about peace! Attracting peace into our daily lives, taking time educating our teenagers on safe sex and sitting to talk of better wages yet to come are better ways to go instead of hold anti-teen pregnancy meetings, laborers’ union rallies and invading sovereign territories to smoke out the bad guys.

In my daily undertakings, I see this in practice and even though I have often ignored it, I realize that the more I fight an idea, the more it reoccurs. Marriages fall apart when couples constantly threaten each other with divorce and lovers are abandoned when they dwell on their insecurities.  How often do we let the negative energies control our existence instead of concentrating on what we desire to see happen. We want to have successful marriages; why don’t we bless our partners with kind thoughts. We are displeased with our partners, why don’t we talk it out and let them know what we want instead of constantly pointing out on their wrong doings. We need our son or daughter to excel in school why don’t we enlighten them on their strengths and reward them in our thoughts and actions?  I am not saying we close our eyes to the vices that may arise but by thinking of the virtues, we overcome the possibilities of the vice-versa occurring.

Mother Teresa once said that she would rather attend a peace rally than an anti-war summit. In her humble life, she showed the world that an enlightened human being had immeasurable capabilities. And to return to Kim and other Hollywood stars who many may think are famous due to good marketing and publicity. In my opinion, they are where they are because they simply believed and visualized where they wanted to be. The example may not be one to emulate but we all have free will and it’s upon us to make choices. Even though controlling and monitoring our thoughts isn’t one of the easiest things to do; we can convince ourselves that only good things will come to us. When negative thoughts bring us down, we must arise and remind ourselves of the things we want to see in our lives. Not those we don’t want to see.

Whilst I am yet to discover more on this theme, I believe it is safe to say that it starts with a simple thought which ultimately makes us all that we are. Let’s make it a positive one and we will live a life much desired by others

THIS IS WHERE THE STORY ENDS….

She always seems sad, withdrawn from the world around her and at times blurts out incomprehensible words to the people around her. These people around her have branded her as crazy, toxic and unsociable! What a list of negative adjectives <sigh>. Where am I heading with this? I happened to have had a conversation with the lady described above over lunch and the feedback was shocking. For some reason, she felt safe around me and opened up to tell me a side of her life that I believe very few around her knew. I was flattered to have her trust and sitting listening to the story on her painful divorce after three decades of marriage, sent my mind into thinking.

Often we believe we are the “normal “parties in our dealings with other people in our relationships; with our spouses, colleagues and friends. The other people always seem to have something amiss in their personality or character. We take the judgment seat and pass our cruel and unfounded sentences; sometimes loud enough for others to hear and sometimes internally. The lady I described at the beginning is a victim of such a circumstance. I may not be able to reveal the details of our conversations but one thing was clear that she had somehow been influenced to believe that all the adjectives added to her name were indeed who she was.

In my opinion, this is not quite the case. Her personality greatly changed when her trust had been betrayed by someone she had known and loved for most of her life. When this happened, she never got the chance that everybody deserves; a chance to understand what went wrong. The final words between her and her beloved were silence. She had so many things to say but never had the chance to say it. The pain had been blinding and despite having been known as a talkative character, for the first time in her life she fell silent. The poor lady had no idea whether to loss her cool or play the “calm” cards. And till date, she never found her voice, and never had the chance to say those final words.

Sometimes in life when friendships, relationships, marriages and other forms of partnerships break, many of us are faced with the same dilemma. This could happen in the time of separation, divorce or even at the time of death of a loved one. What words do we say when the time for goodbye comes?  When the emotions are running high and our judgment is compromised, do we say all we have to say or do we fall silent? How do you gain the wisdom to choose what is appropriate? When words of love may not come easy and hurtful words could only aggravate the situation. A wise friend of mine once said, “find an outlet” for all that is inside you to escape through. But this option is for the enlightened or perhaps those of stronger will power. What of those who are weak and lack discernment during such instances? What do they say? How do they phrase their final words? These moments come so sudden and even though we may see the signs, we choose to believe that it will be better, but my question is how do we get the closure?

I may have no right answer at this point in my life but one thing for sure that whatever we choose, whether to be silent or say all we can, whether to sigh or cry, we should not let is destroy what we have firmly believed in or let it destroy us. Goodbyes will come but why don’t we embrace it as an opportunity for a new phase in our lives or perhaps a moment of change- hopefully for the better! At the point where the story ends, it may never be the same but definitely could be better

AS YEARS GO BY

As a little child, I had fears of the dark, sharp objects, insects amongst other things. As I grew older, the fears changed to those of failure of exams, parents’ and teachers’ punishment, peers being better than I was and the list continues. During my teen years the fears evolved to those of not being liked by the boys at school, losing at my favorite game , being orphaned and some I may not remember. So where am I headed to with this? Isn’t it amazing how our needs, thoughts, desires and ultimately fears evolve as years go by? As we grow older we laugh at those issues that scared us stiff while we were younger. We realize that while we were young we thought and behaved like a child but as the years pass on maturity takes over this kind of thinking.

Recently, I had a talk with a dear friend of mine and she disclosed to me her fear of losing her beloved to another woman. It suddenly struck me that humanity is plagued with fear and even though they may evolve on the surface value and take different forms, the bottom question remains fairly the same; “what if I am not good enough?” My conclusion may be unfounded and incomplete but isn’t the reason all because our mind keeps searching for answers to the unknown. What lies beyond? What comes tomorrow? We forget what we have today. We fear the loss of our parents but we don’t take the time to call them today while we still have them around. We fear the failure in exams whereas we don’t take time to study. Our mind thinks of the pain that is yet to come when we lose our beloved, whereas we don’t take the time to appreciate those close to our hearts today. The fears keep evolving right from the loss of a toy to that of a job.

At the end of the day, we cannot control what tomorrow brings and even though much of it may be unpredictable, why worry about it? Why fear snakes when you don’t plan to get close enough to be bitten? Why fear heights when you don’t intend to jump? Why darkness when you don’t intend to leave your eyes open as you sleep? Why fear love, when you don’t know what it is? My questions may not make sense to many of my readers and perhaps it’s my mind going on an over-drive (not nuts!!! J) but it’s just a thought on this beautiful afternoon in October. This is what I have today and outside my window are beautiful autumn leaves, what a sight! Feels like heaven! Gratitude and joy at the sight that lies before my eyes. What more could I ask for? Let tomorrow worry of the falling of the golden leaves. Indeed the days, weeks, months, seasons and years will go by fast but as for now, I enjoy the beauty and my heart swells in joy not fear!

 

SNAKES AND LADDERS

As a child I loved to play a game known as “snakes and ladders” and I bet the present generation of children have no idea what this game is all about. Times indeed change and we grow older, let go of our older habits, face new challenges and change our outlook and thought about life. Well, why would I remember this game? Hoping that I am not way out of line, I would like to compare this game to life itself. In this game for those who know it is all about playing on a board with squares numbered one to 100 and inter-connected with snakes and ladders. Logically after rolling the dice and a player lands at the tongue of a snake, he/she will be swallowed backwards to the number at the tail of the snake. However, should the dice roll land at the bottom of a ladder, you will be lucky to be taken up the rings of the ladder to a square with a higher value? (I hope you get a hang of it!).

Isn’t life similar to this board game? The decisions we make represent the dice roll since we never know which choice would lead us to a moment of glory and which one would lead us to the bottom of the abyss. I have often found myself in such situations whereby I hope that the choice I make will lead me towards the mark, 100 only to be disappointed and be swallowed by a serpent. Many of those struggling with addictions, bad relationships and habits that they desperately want to rid often get disappointed when they roll their dice of life only to be dragged back to the position where they came from or find themselves in far worse positions than they were originally. The game continues and very few make it to “100”but we should never lose hope of always trying to reach what goal we aim at. On a good day we may land at the bottom of the ladder which will take us to a better place whereas on a bad day we are swallowed by a serpent back to the beginning.

Some seek the help of lady luck, whilst some hope for karma leaving some of us hoping for a miracle from the supernatural being. But still we rise up and keep on trying. We dust ourselves and try again, roll the dice and hope the square we land in is a good one. My comparison may be way off but at least it’s my opinion on this day. Tomorrow I may change my thinking but tonight, I would advise you to take courage and roll the dice, the goal is 100! And you always have a right to be wrong, but learn the trick and play to win